The Life and Times of Zach in South Korea

Last Saturday I was blessed with the opportunity to see the Flaming Lips.  Their live set never ceases to amaze.  Check it out.

There's the venue:  A - Korea.  It's a pretty nice place that holds about 2,000 people; the only downside is they have a strict no food or drink policy.


That's Wayne Coyne.  in a bubble.  inches from my face.


For those uninitiated to a Flaming Lips show, about 1.4% of the rain forest is destroyed for each concert to be used for confetti.  Thank you, Amazon.


This is just a shot of the band and random groupies on stage trying to deal with the mass quantities of balloons that have filled the small auditorium.


That's Wayne on the shoulders of a giant bear.  I'm not making this up.


This is my favorite picture from the show.  It looks even better if you stand on your head.


This is my buddy, Charles, in his dragon suit during Do You Realize??  The grin says it all.


Here I am grinning from ear to ear during Race for the Prize wearing my penguin suit.

There were a lot more pictures, but a lot of them didn't turn out well due to either blinding strobes, getting pushed, complete darkness, or not pointing the camera in the correct direction.  Also, I didn't take any videos since I knew the quality would be lackluster at best.

For fans of the band, the set list was pretty stellar, and the only song I expected and didn't get was Waiting for Superman.

It went something like this.

Instrumental jam while Wayne rolls around.
Convinced by the Hex
The Sparrow Looks Up at the Machine
Silver Trembling Hands
She Don't Use Jelly
Watching the Planets
Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion
The Wand
See the Leaves
I Can Be a Frog
Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell (Acoustic)
Race for the Prize
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1
Pompeii Am Gotterdammerung
Do You Realize??

I'm sure I missed a few, but that gives a rough idea.  Awesome.

Movie:  Fantasia in high definition.  The movie looks the best it ever has and the music is still excellent.

Music:  Deerhunter's Halcyon Digest.  I am late to the party, but it is a great album.

Television:  Community.  I just finally watched the first season and it kept getting better with nearly every episode.  I can't wait to catch up on the new season.

Game: Flower for PS3.  It's the anti-thesis of a game, yet is one of the most captivating games I have ever played.  This game alone makes me thankful I purchased an HD display.

Mobile:  the Incident.  It's fun for the price, but it suffers from the same downfalls of all iPhone games: the controls are mediocre at best.  The pixel art, catchy soundtrack, and fun concept almost cover for it.

In case you are one of the 6 people in the world without a Facebook account, I would just like to inform you that I am alive. So much has happened since the last post that I'm going to forgo most of it.  I'll give you an easy to read, abridged version.  Think of it as a pocket guide to my past 6 months.

• I visited Japan twice, once to Tokyo and the Kanto region and the other to the Kansai area of Kyoto, Osaka, Kobe, etc.
• Concert-wise I went to see the Hood Internet, the Advantage twice, King Khan and the BBQ Show (which no longer exists due to that show), Handsome Furs and Teengirl Fantasy. 
• About mid-July I became bored of only socializing over drinking so I purchased a PS3.
• I dressed up as a penguin for Halloween.
• I got drunk and went to noraebang (karaoke) with an owner of a local fried chicken restaurant and his wife, neither of which speak English beyond a few words and phrases.
• Learned that the Korean idea of sushi can be radically different.
• I was called a "dandy" for the first time in my life.  Allegedly it was a compliment.
• Went to a Korean booking club... If there is any interest about booking, I'd be happy to explain.
• Visited an Expo that happened to have a baked goods exhibit and an alcohol/wine/beer exhibit in the same building.  Excellent combo.
• Gambled at a casino at 6 AM; lost 10,000W (~$9).

Sorry for the belated post.  It's been a month exactly since the last time I wrote anything, and yet I don't have any exciting tales to explain my absence.  What I do have, however, are photos of pork!

That's 10,000 Won of pure awesome purchased from the back of a truck.  Many enthusiasts would argue that is the only place to purchase quality food.


Don't worry.  I purchased some more pork today; it has created a reason to be excited for Tuesdays.

Other than delicious cuts of meat, not much new has happened in the sleepy town of Yeongcheon.



 I went to the I am Robot and Proud concert because tickets were cheap and to support decent foreign acts.  It was a fun electronica show and a good excuse to drink liquor from a child's sand pail.  Seriously.   A few nights ago, I got to see Xiu Xiu also at Club Guess in Daegu.



  It was an excellent show, and I was able to talk to Jamie Stewart afterward about the pleasures of living in North Carolina.  He recently moved to Durham, for those that are unaware.  Also, I gave him a small lock of my hair in return for a Xiu Xiu comb and stickers that will be mailed to my home address. Here is me pre-Xiu Xiu (thanks to Francis for the spiffy bow-tie):


Here is a shot prior to the concert:


I tried my best to keep the same smirk in both photos.

In other news, I went to church with a friend/co-worker on Sunday and had a great time.  I was showered with gifts including glass tupperware, a framed photo, a banquet complete with every Korean food imaginable and Domino's Pizza, multiple potted plants, and a book in Korean about finding the rainbow entitled happiness.  Here are the aforementioned plants.


Next week I will be making my return to Tokyo, and I couldn't be anymore excited.  More on that when I return.

Bad news, everyone.  I am no longer teaching Post Office, so I don't get any awesome postcards from my students...  Airport and House are not nearly as exciting.

I bowled a 144 the other day and picked up two splits.  That's easily the best I have ever done.

God bless government ran healthcare.  I was able to visit a physician, get medicine, a complimentary energy drink, and it set me back 8000 Won (~$7.50).  That's less than the pork, for those mathematicians reading this blog.

Thanks goes to the fine gentleman who woke me up on the train from my slumber at the appropriate stop.  I would have missed Yeongcheon otherwise (which I did the week prior).  Coming home from bars/clubs at 8-9 AM leads to severe drowsiness, surprisingly.

One of my friends sang Dio's "Holy Diver" at noraebang (Korean karaoke) non-ironically.

Zach's Venting Corner

• It saddens me to say this, but Coke is better in Korea than Pepsi.  I recently purchased a bottle of Pepsi and it went flat before the day's end.  Plus, Coke is served in glass bottles.  
• I can't purchase games through Steam here in Korea.  lame.
• This goes for Korea and Japan:  Corn and mayonnaise are not pizza toppings.  I'm sorry, better luck next time.

It's that time again.  Time to exploit the hard work of my students for comedic value.


This one particular student was very fond of Jack.  I think I am Jack now, even though my name was spelled clearly on the whiteboard.


This student, however, was quite fond of Jach.  From their account, I seem to resemble the yawning prince from Spaceballs.


This portrait of a potato headed street walker is pretty common; I've had multiple girl students draw this lovely lady on my board during break time.


News Flash.  For those uninformed, I recently gained about 170 lbs. and aged approximately 20 years.  Working with children in Korea will do that to a person...


This is one of the cutest pictures that I have seen thus far; postal workers in France should find a better organizational method, though.  Throwing all of the mail on the ground doesn't seem very efficient.


That's me. Wearing a crown.  Giving a thumbs up.  These students really captured my essence.


This slightly contradicts one of the earlier "photos" since the students claim my waist is so ant waist.  I don't believe ants even have waists, though.


Here is a popular theme in which the students try to get me romantically involved with a co-teacher, even though she is engaged to one of the other teachers at my school.  Just because Nick has a beard, the students say, "Nick teacher is OLD!"


I lost an eye and nose somewhere.  At least I became an animated character in the process.


Dear girlfriends,
  I am not sure exactly how I feel about my nose.  It feels good some days, is stuffy others, but it does its job relatively well.  I hope you are patient, for it will be at least 5 years until you are eligible for marriage.  Also, polygamy is not really legal in most countries.  I'm sorry... I like both of you, but I don't believe this will work out.  It's not you (ladies), it's me.  You deserve better.

- Zack


This was actually drawn by two male students in my classroom.  They were high on PCP at the time, for that's the only explanation for me having stars all over my face.  Oh, and yes, I is new teacher.


This one's not really funny; it is an interesting look at global relations, though.  This is how many Korean people still feel about Japan, decades after the war atrocities.  Remember, these are Elementary students writing in a second language.  There are still some heavy grudges between the two nations, both politically and socially.

Nothing is really new with me.  Next weekend is the Cherry Blossom Festival and the Soju Festival in Gyeongju, so that should be interesting.  For those that don't know, Soju is a very popular Korean liquor.  Expect photos of pretty trees and drunk people.

Before I forget, here is my home address in Korea.

Zach Bondurant
Naraville Apt. A - 204
Munoe-dong, Yeongcheon-si,
Gyeongbuk, Korea 770-030

If you do ever feel like sending anything (i.e. letter, spicy brown mustard, hate mail, etc.), please do not forget the postal code.  It takes about 12 years for it to arrive without it.

Good news!  I am finally the proud owner of a mobile phone here in Korea; it's a white Samsung SPH-B8850D.  It is quite nice, and it wasn't too expensive.  It came with an antenna to pick up local broadcast channels, which is pretty rad.  I was shocked to see that the phone came with a free second battery, a stereo headset, screen protectors, and a case.  Not bad for like $90.

Next post will be more students' art and more interesting things, I promise.

*stock photo.  All rights reserved to the appropriate website, etc. 

Before I get carried away with how amazing the kids I teach are, it is time for my continued Korean beer taste test.  This time it is OB Blue.

First thing worth noting is the lack of Konglish (Korean version of Engrish) anywhere on the bottle.  OB Blue: The Original Quality Beer since 1933.  That is a complete, logical thought for once.  Is that a good sign?  We are about to find out... No.  It is not indicative of the contents whatsoever.  Do you like Pabst Blue Ribbon?  Me, too.  Do you like sugar?  Me, too. When combined they form OB Blue and prove that you can have too much of a good thing.  When you try to hide the mediocrity of  your beer with seven tablespoons of sugar, it is a recipe for disaster.  *ZING*  The only positive is that you get plenty of it for next to nothing.

Now for cute postcards!


To top off the awesome letter, he drew this sweet picture on the inverse side.


He really wanted to document the very! very! tall nose the best he could.

Next up:



I am not sure if he was apologizing for the picture or describing my work ethic.


In case you are interested, "~sam" is slang for ~ teacher.  To answer his question, I love to the english very much.


I got a sweet bowl cut when I wasn't looking, evidently.  At least my hair is now made of gold!


This girl was so cute.  Her friends kept coming up to me and saying that she was in love with me.  At the end of the day, she hugged me and ran off giggling for like 10 minutes straight.


If I ever get adopted into a Korean comic, this will be my new look.  Jane drew this for me.

Thank you very much and for now, さようなら. *


*8 cool points for whoever got the last reference.

First and foremost, I apologize for taking a fortnight to write my next entry.  For those that are unaware, I was forced to attend EPIK Orientation in Seoul for the past 6 days.  Initially, this sounded like a dream vacation; miss four days of work and get to visit Seoul.  Awesome, right?  Not at all.  The training was a complete joke, for none of the courses were even mildly relevant to the type of school that we teach in.  Furthermore, the staff told us that my school is breaking contract since we do not have co-teachers in our rooms.  The only benefit was that I met a lot of great new teachers and was able to spend some free time in Seoul, albeit very little.  Ray and I found a cool jazz bar a few blocks from our dormitories.  Yes, that's right.  We were boarded in college dormitories.  Here's a sneak peek into our spacious room setup.



We were also given a random roommate, and I was very grateful that my roommate was excellent.  He was from South Africa and is living in the same province as me.  I just want to show you what we were greeted with before seeing the penthouse suites that we spent almost a week in.



This was an all guys floor, too.  I was kind of speechless.

Now for the good parts of Seoul.  I was finally able to find some soccer shoes that fit my monstrous Westerner feet (I wear a size 10 US; far from outrageous...).  These are the first material goods I have purchased since arriving in Korea, and it felt great.


Here in Korea, almost all of the fields are turf, so there was no use in getting firm ground cleats.  Not like you really care, anyway.

More proof that Itaewon in Seoul is pretty great:


That's me + my old friend, A & W Root Beer.  Yes, it was fantastic.  Proof below.


That kind of shit-eating grin doesn't create itself.  Only aged vanilla dolloped in carbonated water can do that to a man's face.

That wasn't the only guilty pleasure I experienced during my stay in Seoul; feast your eyes on this, umm.. feast.


Yes, it was incredible.  It was honestly some of the best french toast I have ever tasted, and I have had my fair share.  Here's my friend's breakfast:



The potatoes were awesome.  'Nuff said.
More western food coming right at ya!



Lamb gyros at Mr. Kebab; they were great and really cheap.  My set was 5900 won, or about $5.  It was quite filling, but that didn't stop us from going to a Paraguayan restaurant mere hours later.  Sorry, forgot to take pictures of that...  After meal two, we all went to a gay bar since one of our friends is a lesbian.  Nick and I went out of our way to order the girliest drinks on the menu, so he got a Velvet Hammer and I got a frozen strawberry daiquiri.  Right before we left, I went to the restroom.  I am so glad that I did; this was the result.


Words. I have none.

During orientation, there were a few cool activities, all of which we did on Sunday. We went to Incheon and experienced classic Korean pottery and was able to paint on a mug.  Here's my version of Starry Night.



Are you blown away?  You should be.  Your friend/acquaintance/enemy is much more talented than you will ever dream of being.  I'm sorry.  Need further proof?  OK.  Check out my Korean painting skillzzz!


Take a good look because it is about to become the Republic of Korea's flag (magnets sold separately).

Enough with Seoul; next will be more letters from awesome kids.